‘Did you cool the coffee?’ he had asked her.
‘No’ she said fearfully.
‘Why don’t you think, you want me to think for you’ he lashed out at her.
‘I’m sorry’ was all she knew to say when he attacked her this way.
‘Get out of my sight!’ he had shouted at her.
Renée had quickly run out of the room and straight to her room. She had jumped onto her bed and hugged her pillow and cried. As an eight year old she was confused; she saw her friends and how their fathers had laughed and played with them and she wondered why her dad did not do the same with her.
‘There must be something wrong with me’ she had told herself.
‘It’s my fault that daddy doesn’t love me’ she reasoned.
‘Maybe I am stupid’ she thought.
Up to this day Renée didn’t know how she had coped; there had been no one to talk to; no shoulder to cry on. Her father was all she had left and there was nothing she could do about it. She had learnt to mask the pain and the hurt. Learnt how to go to school and smile and pretend she was okay. She had become a master of hiding her wounds. She felt she couldn’t trust anyone; she felt they would laugh at her; mock her for not being a good daughter.
Heaven knows she had tried to please him; she still tried until this day but it was to no avail. She never knew what to do or how to do it to his satisfaction, today he said....
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